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Personally seek out wisdom from others on dealing with middle-aged struggles, including existential reckonings, diminishing importance, developing a neck akin to a surrealist painting along with a recent enthusiasm about property shows. Recently, I discovered his remarks about hitting fifty via a discussion: “I think if you’re going to have a good go at the second half of your life, you have to edit away all the noise,” he said. “Surround yourself with uplifting friends. I’m dodging pessimists – ‘fun sponges’ – and improving at refusing requests.”

Initially, I wondered: isn’t this contradictory regarding shunning downbeat folks and mastering refusal? Doesn’t that mean he has to avoid himself? I get it – such remarks define us negative types, and yes, I’m one of them. However, among our group, we favor the term “energy drainer”. Refrain from using “downer” or “spoil-sport” – these comparisons to everyday gear are insulting; we possess sentiments (though often pessimistic). If forced, I’d agree to “gloomy soft cover”.

Perhaps you’re one too. Are you less the life and soul of the party and more its accountant or undertaker? Does your thorough reply to casual greetings make people step back nervously? Do proposed “enjoyable” plans trigger a visage akin to having ingested something unpleasant? Do you see yourself in gloomy figures; has a spiritual reader mentioned your vibe is murky?

If this describes you, you’re in our ranks, and that’s acceptable. Despite a whole self-help-inspired trend urging people to get rid of friends who “drain” them, I’d argue we offer real value. I imagine a negative type would have voiced caution – or pulled a disapproving expression – when Jamie mentioned his children’s book idea featuring an Indigenous protagonist without proper consultation, potentially averting numerous issues, hurt, and anger. You don’t get that sort of service from “lovely people”.